You Don't Do it Right!

   I was at my mommy friends house and she was talking about something that I am totally guilty of too.  Hovering when your hubby is "babysitting" to make sure he's doing it right-aka...your way.  My best friend Laura always reminds me to step back and let him take care of Elena, and sometimes it's so hard I want to scream.  I have to remember that even if she has carrots all over her face, clothes, highchair, or hands that it doesn't matter-she's still getting fed.  I was at my sister's house over x-mas, and Mike was feeding her, and I made him stop b/c she was sooooo messy.  My sister, Ande, said-so what-but I just took over.  My older mommy friend says this is where we trap ourselves because our hubbies will catch on that we will take over, and they will mess up, just so they don't have to do it.  This hasn't happened to me yet, but I can see how, after years of this hovering, that it would come to this.
   Every mommy I know describes it as babysitting when the man stays with the kids, and this is bad, but I feel this way anyway.  Mike will kindly say, "I'll watch the baby if you want to go to a movie with your friends."  While this is super sweet, it just sounds funny.  Of course you will watch the baby, you're the other parent.  I feel bad for the dudes here because they try so hard, but only rarely do it exactly how we want it.  Mike was singing to her in her crib when she woke up one night, and I was like-get out of there! Put the paci in and run for it.  Then I stopped myself because-who cares if he's actually keeping her awake with his singing, this is a moment that I should keep in my mind forever.
   When I look at it, it's really everything the dudes do.  I can't tell you how many times I've gone looking for something and have no idea where it is, and then remember that Mike unloaded the dishwasher, so it could be anywhere.  However, I never complain about this because-he unloaded the dishwasher for me-to save me time-like a kind husband.  Mike and I were watching the new tv show Traffic Light and it's very guyie.  The man said something and the woman took it as he said it, which is not how he meant it, and that was the premise of the show.  Mike said, "Why do women do that?"  Meaning take it and blow it up and make it worse etc.  I ask you all now-why do we do it?  I totally do this, and all my friends do too.  I feel for these men that have to be perfect all the time in chores, daddyhood, work, paying the bills, loving us, and just being good guys.  I know, for myself, I am not perfect in any way.  At least twice a day, I do something totally stupid and rethink what I'm doing.  The difference is, Mike rarely calls me out on this stupid. He just laughs it off, and thinks of it as a lesson, and I know I would be berating him for it.
   So being a perfect daddy-or just doing exactly "my" way will have to not exist because coming from someone that didn't have their father in her life-Mike is here and happy and loves every minute with this munchkin.  If he isn't harming her or killing her-who cares if she's dirty, or tired, or falls asleep on him for the whole nap-so she starts liking that way too much.  Who cares! I have a present and loving husband and father and the memories he's making by feeding her until she looks like a sweet potato, or letting her fall asleep on his chest, or not putting matching clothes on her, is what matters.  Memories here people-memories!  I need to get over myself and let it happen.